Some Days

Some days it feels like Aeson has lived here his entire life.

Some days I wonder when it's going to feel normal again.


Some days I feel like a whiney brat when I want to complain about whatever difficult time we're going through because, in the grand scheme of things, my worst day thus far has been one million times easier than a lot of other adoptive families' best day.

Some days I remember that, no matter what, adoption is hard and it's ok to vent.


Some days I get frustrated when Aeson still doesn't know how to do something.

Some days I remember it's only been six months and give the kid a little grace, lady.


Some days I look at Aeson and my heart is filled with all the feels.

Some days I pray for the day I feel the same love for him that I feel for my daughters.


Some days I watch all three kids play and think, finally our family is complete.

Some days I wish for the days before Aeson came home.


Some days I wonder if I'm cut out for this special needs parenting thing.

Some days I think, look at me, I've totally got this.


Some days I feel like we are no different than any other family.

Some days I wonder if we'll ever fit in again.


Some days I think Aeson is the most popular kid in his school.

Some days I fear he will never have friends who invite him to birthday parties or come over on weekends to play.


Some days I have grand plans that Aeson will grow up, live on his own and have a job.

Some days I wonder if he will ever grasp the concept that that is the letter A, dammit!!!


Some days Aeson is so capable I forget that he has Down Syndrome.

Some days, when he's struggling, I have to remind myself that he does have Down Syndrome and I need to reset my expectations.


Some days people tell us we are saints and how we've done this amazing thing they could never do.

Some days I wonder if we aren't just bat sh*t crazy.


Some days I am positive I'm a horrible person for feeling the way I sometimes do.

Some days I remember that everything I'm feeling is perfectly normal.


Aeson has been home for six months.  Six months...


Some days that feels like a lifetime ago.

Some days it feels like it was just yesterday that a scared, quiet little boy walked through our front door.


I was told to set our expectations of life once Aeson got home very low and then lower them.  And lower them again.  And lower them once more.  And maybe, just maybe, with our expectations sitting in a mile deep hole way beneath the surface of the earth, we wouldn't be disappointed by our new reality.  The truth?  Aeson has blossomed in every way possible and in more ways than I ever thought possible.  We have truly been blessed with the only high functioning, well-adjusted, happy, healthy, special needs Ukrainian orphan on the face of the planet.  I haven't written a whole lot in the last six months because Aeson has settled in so nicely that every day life just seems, well, boring.  I've got nothing exciting to report.  (Trust me, the magnitude of that is not lost on me.)


Some days are amazing.

Some days are definitely better than others.

Some days just downright suck.  


But every day Aeson knows that he is home and he is loved.

And every day that's all that matters.

Included

One of the things I worried about the most with Aeson was would he be included?  Would he be accepted?  We live in a small town and sometimes small towns come with small minds.  He sticks out in an environment that doesn't have a large population of special needs children.  And not only does he not speak English but the English he does speak comes with a Down Syndrome speech deficit.  That being said, our school district is a fully inclusive district meaning that a child with special needs attends as many classes with typically developing peers as they are emotionally and mentally able to handle.  Currently Aeson is in a life skills classroom most of the day (due to not speaking English) but attends mainstream PE, lunch and theater.  We had his first ARD meeting last week and, after discussing all his current academic achievements, I ventured to ask how he was doing socially.  I had no doubts that, in his own class, he would do well.  He is a very affectionate and social kid.  But how would he do with the other kids?  Junior high is an amazingly awkward age where conformity is key to survival.  And, again, Aeson sticks out.  He's also spent his entire life in an environment where everyone was "different" so he doesn't see himself as an oddity.  I was so happy to hear that kids called him by name and waved to him as he went down the hall.  I had a parent approach me last night at a church function to tell me that their daughter had come home and started learning Russian so she could speak to him and make him feel welcome.  And at a slumber party this past weekend, eight six and seven year old girls didn't hesitate to include Aeson in the pillow fights and staircase sledding.  They were curious to know why he "speaks funny" but after a brief explanation about coming from another country and learning to speak English they thought of him no differently than they do any other kid.  One of the girls told her mother when she came to pick her up that, "Aeson is fun to play with."

Insert smiley face here.

So well done, Bellville.  You are raising an amazing bunch of kiddos and I'm so lucky to have my kid among them.  

Answered Prayers

Tomorrow will be one month since we pulled Aeson from the institution.  To say he has done well would be a massive understatement.  He is nothing short of amazing.

We will finish up all the baseline medical appointments this week.  So far Aeson has NONE of the medical conditions typically associated with Down Syndrome.  He has no: heart murmur, cervical (neck) instability, nearsightedness, thyroid issues, stenotic (narrow) ear canals or severely enlarged tonsils.  He also has no fine or gross motor deficits.  He holds his pencil correctly.  He cuts his food with a (butter) knife.  He ties his shoes, zips his jacket and buttons his pants.  He rides a bike.  He jumps on the trampoline.  He's been down a zipline.  He eats whatever we put in front of him.  He sleeps through the night.  He gets along with the girls.  His biggest issue was the dogs and now they are the first thing he looks for when he wakes up in the morning.  Everyone who has met him thus far is surprised at how happy and well-adjusted he is.  He greets everyone with a big smile and a huge hug.  We found out he does NOT like legos or Tonka-type trucks but loves Spiderman, remote-controlled cars, building things and animals.  

Aeson started school less than two weeks after coming home.  He was ready.  In keeping with tradition, he has done very well.  He attends a life skills class for now as we felt the language barrier would make mainstream classes too frustrating.  He attends PE and lunch with his typically developing peers.  Sixth graders are allowed one elective and we chose theater for him.  So he attends that class with typically developing kids as well.  Kid is wicked smart.  He has picked up a number of english words already and is working on number and letter recognition.  He can complete a 30 piece puzzle in minutes.  He has convinced his teachers that he gets "tired" after lunch so they let him play with the iPad instead of doing work.  We figured this one out today when Brent sat him down to work on writing letters.  He "fell asleep" and refused to participate.  Using google translate Brent told him that we'd go outside and ride his bike if he'd just do his work.  Two minutes later all 52 upper and lower case letters of the alphabet are written and he is outside.

I had someone ask me recently about adopting an older boy because they only had experience with younger children but were considering an older child.  I had to be honest that I felt like Aeson was the exception and not the rule.  I'm shocked that such an awesome kid went for so many years without a family.  I am still waiting for the bottom to drop out at some point because it truly can't be this easy...

I also found out yesterday that rumor has it, Aeson's institution is going to make all the other eligible children there available for adoption because of his adoption.

He's done so many great things already...I can't wait to see what's next!